Celeb Birthdays: July 10

Singer-"actress" Jessica Simpson is 27. Will she find love this year? Do you care? Let me know; if so, I'll take a look at her chart. Eventually. ;) See Jessica Simpson's birth chart (Exclusive to CelebAstroBlogy) ~ Read CelebAstroBlogy articles about Jessica Simpson

Actor Thomas Ian Nicholas (American Pie) is 27.

Actor Adrian Grenier of Entourage, which I just started getting into this season even though everyone says this season kind of sucks, because a certain someone who shall remain nameless is obsessed with it and will seriously watch the same episode, like, three times in the course of a week, turns 31 today. See Adrian Grenier's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Musician Elijah Blue Allman is also 31.

Country musician Gary LeVox of Rascal Flatts is 37.

Musician Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys is 53.

Heavy metal musician Ronnie James Dio is 58. See Ronnie James Dio's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time)

Folk musician Arlo Guthrie is 60. See Arlo Guthrie's birth chart (Astrotheme)

Birth dates from IMDB.com and/or Wikipedia. Please email me any corrections, additions or—especially appreciated!—exact birth times.

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Why Jessica Simpson Shouldn't Take John Mayer Back Again

Way back in March 2006, I speculated extensively on whom, astrologically speaking, then-newly-single Jessica Simpson should get into a relationship with, and came up with a pretty specific zone of the zodiac for her to use as her dating pool:

I like the idea of her dating someone with his Sun betweeen 16-23° Libra, which would square her Sun (challenging her, which I think Jess needs right now) but also trine her Moon/Venus, creating an easy emotional bond. {Full story}

Well, as we all now know, she took up with sensitive Libra singer-songwriter John Mayer, whose Sun is at -- I tell you, I don't make this stuff up, people -- 22° or 23° Libra, depending on his exact birth time. See John Mayer's birth chart (Astrotheme, no birth time) But their on-off relationship has been characterized by stereotypical Libran oscillation; it seems John is afflicted with the ambivalence about commitment that often befalls natives of this Sun sign, and keeps breaking up and making up with Jess. So, although my original prediction (or rather, recommendation) came to pass, it didn't exactly work out happily.

The irony is that a large part of my analysis of who Jess should date was predicated on the guess that Jess--whose birth time I did not then know -- had a Gemini Moon, which would vibe with an airy Libra. Instead, it turns out -- thanks to data graciously provided by the AstroTwins, to whom I am deeply indepted and most grateful for the scoop -- that Jessica's Moon is in watery Cancer. (Seriously, seeing her in the kitchen, I never would have guessed that. You can't win 'em all, people.) See Jessica Simpson's birth chart (Exclusive to CelebAstroBlogy.com)

With her Sun, Moon and Mercury in Cancer, and Scorpio, also a water sign, on the Ascendant (conjunct her ex-husband Nick Lachey's Scorpio Sun, by the by), Jessica is very emotionally driven. Like John, she has a Sun-Mercury conjunction and therefore a tendency to be all up in her own head -- but where his Libra conjunction overthinks, her Cancer conjunction gets oversensitive. When they argue, she finds him cold and unemotional while he finds her hysterical.

Jessica's Venus in Gemini does vibe romantically with John's Sagittarius Moon, but ultimately the freewheeling wanderer spirit of that Sag Moon is unsatisfying and unavailable for her security-oriented Cancer Sun-Moon. As a homebody Cancer, Jessica may have grown tired of following her rocker beau on tour and longed to settle down again.

Further, John's Venus at 29° Virgo -- though it forms an out-of-sign conjunction with her Mars in Libra that could stir up passionate sparks -- has a sort of neurotic quality, a tendency to nitpick and criticize his partners (one wonders why Jessica changed her hair color and dress style while she was with him).

And while the square between their Suns may have enabled the couple to challenge each other, as I anticipated in my original post on Jess' hypothetical Libra hookup, the challenge was too great. With the Mercury square as well as the Sun square, their perspectives are at odds. These two always seemed like an awkward fit, and while they may have repeatedly broken up and made up, ultimately their horoscopes do not show the kind of synastry that would suggest a lasting long-term union.

So, what sign -- or which star -- do you think Jess should date next? I'd love to hear your comments!

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Who Should Jessica Simpson Date Next?

I was originally intending to post something about Jessica Simpson's rebound relationship with Adam Levine of Maroon 5, but then I lay down for a short nap and awoke to find that they had already broken up. Evidently Adam dumped her via text message (full story on the always hilarious wwtdd.com), which is rather fitting karmic payback for a Venus-in-Gemini two-timer (Gemini rules communication devices such as pagers, cell phones, Blackberries, etc.) like Jessica. She may also have her Moon in Gemini, depending what time of day she was born; given her rumored fickleness, I'm inclined to believe that she was born earlier in the day with a Gemini Moon, since a double Cancer would be, well, a better cook for one thing. Plus she would be more inclined to stay home with a dreamy Scorpio hubby like Nick Lachey, whereas a Gemini-Moon hoochie would be more inclined to go out partying and flirting with anyone in sight. Folks, I rest my case.

Okay, so having established that I believe Jessica to be a Cancer Sun with a side of Gemini Moon (see Jessica's chart; source: Astrotheme), whom should she date next? In one corner we have Jude Law, who, as a Capricorn, does score automatic points as a match for Jessica (opposite signs, like Cancer and Capricorn, are traditionally very good matches). But we cannot overlook the fact that Jude Law is a dirty, dirty whore with ... OMG, every planet except Saturn and Pluto on the eastern side of the chart -- selfish much?? (See Jude Law's chart; Astrotheme) Jessica, honey, Jude might have Jupiter, ruler of his Sag Ascendant, on your Sun, but that just makes it easier for him to lie to you. Stay away!!!

With her Sun-Mercury conjunction, Jessica is a lot smarter than she comes off, though the fact that her natal Mercury is retrograde would explain quirky utterances like the infamous chicken-fish conundrum. She also has a Mars-Saturn conjunction in Virgo that makes her a very disciplined hard worker. I like the idea of her dating someone with his Sun betweeen 16-23° Libra, which would square her Sun (challenging her, which I think Jess needs right now) but also trine her Moon/Venus, creating an easy emotional bond.

So whose Sun falls in this zone? Some people might say that searching on IMDB for such individuals would be a lame way to spend a Friday night. These people clearly do not possess the Astro-Blogging Love required to undertake such a noble, selfless research project on behalf of La Simpson. And now, with the threat of hateration contained, let us move on to the specimens of Libra man-meat I have identified as candidates for winning Jessica's heart:

Nick Cannon (born 10/8/80, San Diego, CA) knows how to work the mass-market-appeal machine to make his modest talents at singing and acting seem greater than the sum of their parts. OMG, just like Jess! I could just see these two hooking up at, like, the Nickelodeon Awards or some such nonsense.

Bode Miller (born 10/12/77, Easton, NH), might just be a match for Jessica inasmuch as his personality is equal parts overachiever and party-hearty spaz. His Olympic bid got about as much press, and ultimately amounted to as much of an accomplishment, as her movie debut in Dukes of Hazzard. At least we were spared promotional photos of him with artificially enhanced junk in his trunk.

Sacha Baron Cohen (born 10/13/71, London, UK), a.k.a. Ali G., might seem like he's way over Jessica's head. But come on, you know she loves her some Jackass guys. Ali G would be such a step up in terms of sophistication, while allowing her to maintain the excitement of dating an envelope-pushing "bad boy." Plus, at least Borat could give her a resounding "Ich don't think so" to those collagen lip implants and the Uggs/sweatpants ensembles that scream "Damn the paparazzi, I just don't care anymore." I don't think papa Joe Simpson would exactly cotton to Jess bringing home a nice Jewish boy who ain't even American, but since that's just one of the many reasons Herr Simpson is creepy and evil, I'm liking this couple!

Who would you like to see Jessica Simpson date next? Email me or post a comment and I'll let you know how your choice's chart stacks up with Jessica's.

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